1. |
Walkin' Jack
04:31
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WALKIN' JACK
Step by step, street by street
Block by block, face by face,
Sidewalk, crosswalk, right in time,
Walkin’ Jack walkin’ at a Walkin’ Jack pace.
Recognize his familiar gait
You know his stride from front or back,
See him walkin’ everywhere,
There goes Walkin’ Jack.
Tales are told about his past,
A part of local lore,
But there’s no mystery to the man,
Just talk to him at the grocery store,
Everywhere he goes, everybody knows,
The man called Walkin’ Jack,
Every day he makes his way downtown . . .
. . . Then he walks back . . .
His route’s the same but the backdrop’s changed,
Storefronts come and go,
But Walkin’ Jack walks through it all,
As he has since long ago.
The Cinema is a long-time gone,
The picture shows are done,
So now there’s no place left downtown
for kids to go for fun.
Academy, the factory, the churches in a row,
All these places Jack would go,
Right on time, right on track, walk downtown . . .
Then turn around and walk back . . .
Lonely sidewalks lying bare
Lifelong friends of Jack’s
Bikes and joggers all have fled
To the path in the bed of the railroad tracks.
Last I saw him was way down south,
Far below his range,
He must be lost, or so I thought
Or his route, at last, had changed.
And when this whole town closes down
and all of us are gone,
On sidewalks of eternity,
Walkin’ Jack walks on . . .
Everywhere he goes, everybody knows,
The man called Walkin’ Jack,
Right on time, right on track, walk downtown . . .
Then turn around and walk back . . .
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2. |
Nancy Whiskey
04:22
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NANCY WHISKEY:
I am a weaver, a Carlton weaver.
I am a brash and a roving blade.
I will wander where I wish to
And I follow a roving trade
Whiskey whiskey Nancy whiskey
Whiskey whiskey Nancy-o
Whiskey whiskey Nancy whiskey
Whiskey whiskey Nancy-o
As I walked into Glasgow city.
Nancy Whiskey I chanced to smell.
I walked in, sat down beside her.
Seven long years I loved her well.
Whiskey whiskey Nancy whiskey
Whiskey whiskey Nancy-o
Whiskey whiskey Nancy whiskey
Whiskey whiskey Nancy-o
The more I kissed her, the more I loved her.
The more I kissed her, the more she smiled.
I forgot my mother's teaching,
Nancy soon had me beguiled.
Now I rose early in the mornin',
To slake my thirst, it was my need.
I tried to rise but was not able.
Nancy had me by the knees.
Whiskey whiskey Nancy whiskey
Whiskey whiskey Nancy-o
Whiskey whiskey Nancy whiskey
Whiskey whiskey Nancy-o
So I’m going back to Carlton weaving;
I’ll really make those shuttles fly.
I'll make more at the Carlton weaving
than I did in a roving way.
So come ye weavers, ye Carlton weavers,
Weavers, where e're ye be.
Beware of Whiskey, Nancy Whiskey.
She'll ruin you she blinded me!
Whiskey whiskey Nancy whiskey
Whiskey whiskey Nancy-o
Whiskey whiskey Nancy whiskey
Whiskey whiskey Nancy-o
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3. |
Irish Yoga
03:10
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IRISH YOGA
Woke on the ground with my head all blurry,
Arms spread wide and a tongue like glue,
Finally rose and began to worry,
"Holy hell, what did I do?"
Then I pieced it all together,
I was drinking whiskey from a glass,
Did not stop 'til I lost my balance,
And went to sleep on the cool, green grass
Hasn't anyone ever told you
Why my bed is on the ground?
I'm a master of Irish Yoga,
Drink, get drunk, fall down.
I woke up in the town hall hedgerow,
The morning after the summer dance,
I never made it home that night,
I lost my way and I lost my pants,
Police asked me "where you going?
What's your name, what have you done?"
"In my town you must wear trousers,
And I can see that you have none."
Well, I sure wish that I had a toga,
Or a kilt, or a pair of shorts,
Last night I practiced Irish Yoga,
Today they hauled me off to court.
Hasn't anyone ever told you
Why my bed is on the ground?
I'm a master of Irish Yoga,
Drink, get drunk, fall down.
I've been all around this continent
And I find drink where'er I go,
I drank my way through many states,
And here is what I've come to know:
They like their beer in Canada,
They seem to like Tequila out West,
Way down south they love their bourbon,
But Irish whiskey is the best,
It limbers your lips and then your tongue,
Then your throat then you have some more,
It hits your belly, it hits your knees,
It hits your head, then you hit the floor.
Hasn't anyone ever told you
Why my bed is on the ground?
I'm a master of Irish Yoga,
Drink, get drunk, fall down.
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4. |
South Australia
03:06
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5. |
The Try-Works
05:25
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THE TRY-WORKS
Standing in a sleep, something is wrong,
The compass I was steering by is suddenly gone,
Nothing before me but a jet-black gloom,
Ghastly flash of red, and a thunderous boom . . .
Sinking through the darkness to the depths of my soul,
Kneeling in the bottom of a bloody punch bowl,
My sea legs are sturdy, but I can’t stand
To scour these pots with soapstone and sand
Stark, bewildered, a feeling of death,
Choked by the smoke, can’t draw a breath,
Temperature rising, higher and higher,
I’ve been staring too long at the face of the fire . . .
Pitchin’ and a-rollin’ cross the watery earth,
Telling tales of terror in a language of mirth,
Dirty harpooners who feel no shame,
Their laughter forks up like the tongues of the flame
From the furnace, so hot that the main deck warps,
laden with fire as we’re melting a corpse,
The whale supplies the oil that makes his own body burn,
As we flee from all the safety of the havens astern.
It’s been an all-night, headlong, sled-like slide,
The crazy old man took us all for a ride,
Hatred and revenge figured into his plan,
And I, like all all the others, was a butterless man,
The ship, like Satan, sank down into hell
As she dragged a living part of heaven down with herself,
But the eagle soars higher than the crows and the cranes,
And I’ve returned alone, the only one who remains,
So tomorrow will dawn, and the skies will be bright,
The world looks better in the natural light.
Shake off the cold and the dark and the damp,
That golden, glad sun is the only true lamp.
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6. |
The Cannibal King
01:55
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CANNIBAL KING
A cannibal king with a big nose ring
Made love to a hula dame
And every night by the pale moonlight
Across the lake he came
He’d hug and kiss his pretty little miss
Under the bamboo tree
And every time he stole a kiss
It sounded like this to me:
A-roomp [kiss-kiss], A-room [kiss-kiss],
A-room poddy-oddee ahh-eee-ahh
A-room [kiss-kiss], A-room [kiss-kiss],
A-room poddy-oddee ayy-eee-ayy
We’ll build a bungalow, big enough for two
Big enough for two, my honey,
Big enough for two, (walla-walla-walla)
And when we’re married, happy we’ll be
Under the bamboo,
Underneath the bamboo tree
Boom-boom, Boom-boom,
Boom-boom, Boom-boom, Boom-boom,
If you’ll be M-I-N-E, mine
I’ll be T-H-I-N-E, thine,
And I’ll L-O-V-E, love you
All the T-I-M-E, time
You are the B-E-S-T
Of all the R-E-S-T, rest
And I’ll L-O-V-E, love you
All the T -- I -- M-E, ti-ime,
Rack ‘em up, sack ‘em up,
Any ol’ ti-ime . . .
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7. |
The Notch
03:29
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THE NOTCH
Hey, ho, me arse is dragging,
I've been up all night,
They hauled me away in the Paddy Wagon,
A sandwich from The Notch would do me right,
sooooooo . . .
Here's to Frankie Salvatore,
Proprietor of the old Notch Store,
He always has an open door
For customers and friends,
Well he's got pumpkins, mums, and Christmas trees,
The world's best bacon-egg-and-cheese,
He'll sing a song, he'll shoot the breeze,
His kindness never ends,
One cup of coffee, two cups of coffee, three cups of coffee,
Every morning it's the same.
One cup of coffee, two cups of coffee, three cups of coffee,
And another cribbage game.
For Sunday papers, deli meats,
Donuts, milk, or Swisher Sweets,
The inventory is complete,
'Cause Frankie's on the watch,
So this advice you all must heed,
And all through Cheshire it's agreed,
When there's anything you need
You can find it at the Notch (or Hine's).
One cup of coffee, two cups of coffee, three cups of coffee,
Every morning it's the same.
One cup of coffee, two cups of coffee, three cups of coffee,
And another cribbage game.
So God Bless Frankie Salvatore
Proprietor of the old Notch Store,
He always has an open door
For customers and friends.
For he's a jolly good fellow . . . which nobody can deny!
To customers and friends.
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8. |
Big Jim
03:55
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BIG JIM
Hear it sing,
The hammered anvil’s short-pitched ring
The blacksmith stands
With a piece he’s worked with two strong hands
He plies his trade,
No man could make a finer blade
Big Jim
Perhaps you’ve heard of him
James Joseph, the Blacksmith King
Without a blacksmith shop you can’t build a thing
Been here for years
Before steam hammers or power shears
The bellows swoon,
Breathing fire for axes and picaroons
Train rails and spikes
Shaped by his hammer’s mighty strikes
The local farms
Run on tools he made with his two strong arms
James Joseph, the Blacksmith King
Without a blacksmith shop you can’t build a thing
A dying art
His shop was this small town’s beating heart
Things aren’t the same
Since the factories and machine shops came
His days are long,
But he does his part and staggers on
In the flame and heat,
He’ll mold and shape and pound and beat
Hear it sing,
The hammered anvil’s short-pitched ring
His edge won’t dull
His flame will ever burn through the dark,
So let fall the hammer . . .
Let fly the spark,
Let fall the hammer . . .
Let fly the sparks!
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9. |
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OF THE PERSUASION
Of The Persuasion
For Mr. Wyllie
A lad went out to buy some trout
To fry in his dinner pan
While standing in line he spotted a fine,
Distinguished looking man
The lad said “sir, I know you
Though it’s been ten years or longer,
How lucky to see you in front of me
In the shop of the local fishmonger.”
The man said “Hell, I know you well,
I taught you in my class,
I’m glad to see you remember me
Though many years have passed,
But still there is a quiz to validate your education:
Are you of the drinking persuasion?”
The lad said “Sir, I am quite sure
That I can pass your test.
Of all the teachers I have had,
You’re easily the best,
I have too much respect for you to try and tell a lie,
And so I’ll tell you to your face, and look you in the eye.”
And he said:
“Aye, aye, aye, I’m a drinking man, indeed,
And when I think to have a drink, there’s nothing else I need,
It’s put me in and kept me out of many a situation,
It’s true I’m of the drinking persuasion.”
And so the men decided then
To join with friends and dine,
To share some drinks and stories
And talk of auld lang syne
A dram or two will always do to kindle conversation
At meetings of men of the drinking persuasion
Through all the years and all the beers
And whiskey, gin, and wine,
We take a drink to make us think
That everything is fine,
We’ll take our lumps and bumps,
Contusions, bruises and abrasions,
Because we’re of the drinking persuasion.
We all sing:
“Aye, aye, aye, I’m a drinking man, indeed,
And when I think to have a drink, there’s nothing else I need,
It’s put me in and kept me out of many a situation,
It’s true I’m of the drinking persuasion!”
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10. |
It Ain't A Real Martini
04:23
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Take the bottle from the freezer, a hint of dry vermouth
Jalapeno olives on a pick made for your tooth
Grab the frozen shaker, pour all the goodness in
It ain’t a real martini if it don’t got gin
When early evening rolls around
Say, at the stroke of five.
That’s when the spirits move you
to remind you you’re alive
Don’t need no fruity pink crap,
I tell ya, that’s a sin
It ain’t a real martini if it don’t got gin
You can have it on the rocks my friend
or you can have it up
Doesn’t really matter if it’s in a coffee cup
What matters is the friends you’ll make,
Their gratitude, their grin
Cuz it ain’t a real martini if it don’t got gin
You got your everyday, your blue Bombay
Your Tanqueray Ten
Grab Beefeater or Hendrick's
If a British mood you're in
Don’t fall for all those fancy names
For drinks in bars you been,
It ain’t a real martini if it don’t got gin.
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11. |
MILFord
02:38
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12. |
Irish (We'll Never Be)
03:12
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IRISH (We'll Never Be)
I’ve never seen Dublin in the flesh
I stained my shirt with meatballs and spaghetti
But I’m proud of my descent
It’s not from Cork, not from Killarney
Where every song is like:
Drink some whiskey, get into a bar fight
Lather-rinse-repeat on the next night
We don’t care, we’re sipping cappucinos peacefully
Still every song is like:
Pretty lassie, wife is into whoring
Nectar of the barley, crathur in the morning
We don’t care – our backs are covered with too much hair
And we’ll never be Irish (Iiiiiiiiiiirish)
It don’t run in our Guinea Blood
I want to punch those smiling eyes
And mock the penis size
‘Cause we’re sick of the Dubes (Duuuubes)
As well as the Malloys (Maaaahhloyyys)
Cause laddies they drool (they drool they drool they drool)
Like most drunk Irish guys
My brother and I we’ve cracked the code (low D note on accordion repeated section)
Add Jamesons and a nip of Baileys to the coffee
And everyone who knows them knows
That they’re good with this, but less so with sobriety
And every song is like:
Drink some whiskey, get into a bar fight
Lather-rinse-repeat on the next night
We don’t care, we’re sipping cappucino’s peacefully
Still every song is like:
Pretty lassie, wife is into whoring
Nectar of the barley, crathur in the morning
We don’t care – our backs are covered with too much hair
And we’ll never be Irish (Iiiiiiiiiiirish)
It don’t run in our Guinea Blood
I’ll turn black those smiling eyes
Laugh at the pasty thighs
‘Cause we’re sick of the Dubes (Duuuubes)
As well as the Malloys (Mahhhlloooyys)
Cause laddies they drool (they drool they drool they drool)
Like most drunk Irish guys
(Ayyyyyyyeeeeye…Ayyyyyeeeeeye…Aye yahhhhh)
They’re drunker than I’ve ever seen
I’m so sick of wearing green
(Ayyyyyyeeeeye…Ayyyyyyyeeeye…Aye yahhhhh)
They live life without a care
And without backs full of hair
No, we’ll never be Irish (I…..rish)
It don’t run in our Guinea Blood
I wanna punch those smiling eyes
And mock the penis size
‘Cause we’re sick of the Dubes (Duuuubes)
As well as the Malloys (Maaahhhlloyyys)
Cause laddies they drool (they drool they drool they drool)
Like most drunk Irish guys (stop at last word)
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13. |
The Whiskey Spider
04:32
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THE WHISKEY SPIDER
I've got a perfect explanation for what happened Friday night.
I stayed in bed all weekend ‘cause I wasn't feeling right.
But I swear it wasn't too much drink, I swear with all my might,
The thing that almost killed me was a deadly spider bite.
You see, I have a little brown jug with a handle near the spout,
I bought it at a tag sale, took it home and cleaned it out,
I filled it up with whiskey, but I should have corked it tighter,
‘Cause down into that jug crawled a nasty little spider.
and he drank . . . and he grew . . .
and when I drank . . . I never knew
Chorus:
Yes, the Whiskey Spider bit me,
And when the venom hit me,
I saw things that you never would believe,
I had the devil at my side,
I swear to God, I thought I’d died,
Oh, dear lord, what a tangled web I weave.
I had no idea the foul arachnid was afloat
And when I took a swallow, he stung me in the throat!
It felt just like a pinprick, but then began to burn
I started feeling dizzy and the room began to turn.
The poison, deep inside me, began to paralyze,
I couldn’t move a muscle, and blackness filled my eyes,
Nausea, ache, and fever were all that I could feel,
Careening through depths of Hell on wicked Fortune’s wheel.
CHORUS
I cannot take that chance again, I will not drink the pure,
For Whiskey Spider venom, I do not know the cure,
So if you offer me a whiskey, I’ll politely pass, [SLOW TO A STOP]
Unless, I guess, you pour it in a nice clean crystal glass!
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14. |
The Brothers' Anthem
04:28
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THE BROTHERS' ANTHEM
We stand for each other,
The best hope we have,
We do not wish for more,
A Band of Brothers
From here to the grave,
We happy few, how our spirits soar!
We do not covet gold,
To Brotherhood we hold,
For he who sings this song with me,
Shall be my brother, ne’er so vile,
So open up your hearts and sing awhile.
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15. |
The Andrew T. Polka
02:32
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THE ANDREW T. POLKA
The only time we get together is when we get together,
I hope we'll be together soon again,
I'm so sorry that we have to part, but I'll keep you in my heart,
and I'll see you when I see you, my friend.
May the road rise to meet you, may friendly faces greet you,
wherever you may go in this land,
And until we meet again, I wish you this, my friend,
may God hold you in the palm of his hand.
The only time we get together is when we get together,
I hope we'll be together soon again,
When you leave I'll hug and kiss you, and when you're gone, I'll miss you,
But I'll see you when I see you, my friend.
Sit long, laugh loud,
eat well, drink deep.
Go home, unwind,
Get up on top of bed, and make yourself some sleep!
The only time we get together is when we get together,
And now our time together's at an end,
So good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite,
and I'll see you when I see you, my friend.
and I'll see you when I see you, my friend.
and I'll see you when I see you, my friend.
(rack 'em up, sack 'em up, any ol' time)
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Band O'Brothers Cheshire, Connecticut
Hailing from Cheshire, CT, Band O'Brothers entertains themselves and their unfortunate victims with their own brand of Mediocre Irish American Music.
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