When Chris brought an old crock jug full o' nice Irish whiskey to a rehearsal one night, a spider floated out on a stream of the pure into one of the glasses on Anthony's pool table, and this song was born.
And yes, we drank the whiskey anyway. What else would you expect from the world's first band of Arachnoholics?
lyrics
THE WHISKEY SPIDER
I've got a perfect explanation for what happened Friday night.
I stayed in bed all weekend ‘cause I wasn't feeling right.
But I swear it wasn't too much drink, I swear with all my might,
The thing that almost killed me was a deadly spider bite.
You see, I have a little brown jug with a handle near the spout,
I bought it at a tag sale, took it home and cleaned it out,
I filled it up with whiskey, but I should have corked it tighter,
‘Cause down into that jug crawled a nasty little spider.
and he drank . . . and he grew . . .
and when I drank . . . I never knew
Chorus:
Yes, the Whiskey Spider bit me,
And when the venom hit me,
I saw things that you never would believe,
I had the devil at my side,
I swear to God, I thought I’d died,
Oh, dear lord, what a tangled web I weave.
I had no idea the foul arachnid was afloat
And when I took a swallow, he stung me in the throat!
It felt just like a pinprick, but then began to burn
I started feeling dizzy and the room began to turn.
The poison, deep inside me, began to paralyze,
I couldn’t move a muscle, and blackness filled my eyes,
Nausea, ache, and fever were all that I could feel,
Careening through depths of Hell on wicked Fortune’s wheel.
CHORUS
I cannot take that chance again, I will not drink the pure,
For Whiskey Spider venom, I do not know the cure,
So if you offer me a whiskey, I’ll politely pass, [SLOW TO A STOP]
Unless, I guess, you pour it in a nice clean crystal glass!
credits
from Band O'Brothers,
released November 19, 2016
Lyrics and Music by Sean Malloy
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